


Seeing Is Believing

by sparklingcas



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Language, Smut, Supernatural - Freeform, Supernatural AU - Freeform, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-16
Updated: 2017-09-02
Packaged: 2018-11-14 16:23:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 17
Words: 23,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11211765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sparklingcas/pseuds/sparklingcas
Summary: You live in a small southern Illinois town when your home is invaded by a demon. When Sam and Dean Winchester show up to save the day, your entire life changes.





	1. Chapter 1

You peered through the blinds of your small house as you shook your head in frustration. For whatever reason, there was a car that had been parked across the street with two men sitting in it for the last two nights. They couldn’t be cops, because what kind of cops, undercover or not, drive ‘67 impalas? And they certainly didn’t let their hair grow out like that one did. You’d been on edge since the first time you saw the car, though you didn’t know if you were on edge for a good or bad reason, you just felt…off. You thought about going outside and talking to them, seeing what the hell their deal was; but unless they came and bothered you, that wasn’t happening.

You were typically a quiet person, very kept to yourself. You didn’t have any friends, if you had any family, you didn’t know about them, or they didn’t care about you. Your mother raised you to stand up for yourself, you had no problem telling someone to fuck off if they got too close. You weren’t always like this, growing up you had some friends. You went out and had fun, you were ‘normal’ as they say.

You lived in a small town, Makanda Illinois. It was a very quiet and peaceful place. This is where you’d been for the last eight years. Your mother had told you that when she died, you needed to go somewhere where chances of you being found were slim. You didn’t know who you were supposed to hide from, but you were guessing these men outside of your house might have been who she was talking about.

* * *

Later that evening, you made your way around your tiny home, closing all windows and locking them for the night as the sun was setting. You put your tea kettle on the stove and waited for the water to boil. Just as the kettle started to whistle you heard some kind of thumping from your living room. You walked around the corner of your kitchen to find a man standing there, knife in hand. He was tall, dressed as a janitor or something. He definitely wasn’t supposed to be in your house. You stumbled backwards and fell to the floor as you tried to grab a knife to defend yourself, but when the man’s eyes flashed black, you froze.

“This is gonna be way too easy.” the man said, snickering as he smiled down at you, when you suddenly saw a knife come through his chest. Your eyes widened as you watched an orange light emanate from his eyes, his mouth, and well..everywhere, before he fell to the floor. You stared at him for a moment before looking up and making eye contact with the two men that had been in the car across the street.

“Who the hell are you two?” you demanded, voice slightly shaky as you stood up.

“I’m um, I’m Sam, this is my brother Dean-” the taller of the two paused, looking around the room, and your now broken down front door- “ _that_ was a demon.” They  seemed surprised at how quick you were to ask who they were.

You smiled as you ran a hand down the front of your face. A demon. Of course it was a demon, what else would it be?

“Well that’s nice Sam, but I don’t wanna be involved in this, so, take this ‘demon’, and see yourselves out.”

You turned and walked back into your kitchen and shut your stove off before pouring the water into your tea cup. As you were stirring in some honey when the taller of the two men, Sam, walked into your kitchen.

“Y/N Y/L/N?” you could tell he was treading lightly, as if he was slightly intimidated by you.

“I know you guys have been watching me.” you said as you tapped your spoon on the side of the cup and brought it to your lips to blow on the scalding liquid.

“Alright then, that makes our job easier.” Dean said with a smirk on his face as he stepped into the room. You’d taken notice to him. The way he carried himself, the look he gave you.

“And tell me Dean, what  _is_ your job?”

“We’re hunters-” he began, only to be cut off by his brother smacking him in the chest- “what? You saw how she handled that.” he pointed at the demon in the other room, making a face at it showing his disgust for the thing.

“Okay-” your cheeks burned a little bit as you watched Dean- “so you guys are demon hunters?”

“Well, yeah, we hunt other things too.” Sam said, drawing your attention from his very attractive brother.

“So what are you doing in my house?” you asked bluntly.

“Demons are after you, and we have no idea why.” Dean answered.

You set your cup down before standing up straight and shrugging.

“So what can I do?” For some reason this just wasn’t surprising to you.

“Any chance you’d wanna come with us?” Dean asked.

You thought about it for a moment. You really thought about it. Leaving with two strange, but very attractive men, that you’d known for all of five minutes. Your mom always taught you to protect yourself; but these men seemed sincere, and they did just save your life. You always had these gut feelings when things were wrong, or if something was bad. You didn’t have these feelings with Sam and Dean.

“Demons?” you asked again, you really weren’t sure why you felt that you could trust them.

They both offered reassuring nods as you smiled, “Let me pack a bag then.” you clapped as you made your way around them and went into your bedroom to start packing.

You heard them talking amongst themselves in the kitchen as you threw some clothes into a bag. You grabbed your mother’s books and shoved those in as well. They had symbols in them that she long ago had told you to paint on the walls wherever you lived, that it would keep any threat out. You laughed to yourself as you realized that must not have meant demons. You shoved a tin that had cash in it that you kept for emergencies in the bag, along with some toiletries and you were ready to go.

You walked out of your bedroom to see Sam and Dean standing there, waiting for you.

“You ready?” Dean asked.

“Ready as I’ll ever be.”

The three of you made your way outside, a smile growing on your face as you approached the car.

“So, this is your car, huh?” you suggested, making sure to watch Dean’s reaction.

“Yep, it’s a-”

“-’67 chevy impala. I know. It’s beautiful.” you said proudly.

Dean turned to look at you before opening the driver’s side door, a cheesy grin breaking out of his face. He must not get many compliments on his car.

You offered a flirtatious smile before settling down in the back seat, ready for whatever adventure you were about to go on.


	2. Chapter 2

“So where we headed?” you asked Dean as you leaned over seat to turn the radio down, making sure to brush against his shoulder in the process. The look that Sam gave you told you that not just anyone could get away with that.

“Small town in Missouri for tonight,” Dean started, “then we’ll be heading to Kansas.”

“Cool-” you leaned back and looked around, thinking of how to bring up the subject of why demons could be after you- “So what kind of stuff do you guys hunt? You know, besides demons.”

Sam and Dean exchanged looks as you scooted to the center of the back seat and then leaned up against the front seat, admittedly to get closer to Dean.

“You guys can tell me.” you said, Dean shrugged and turned to you while he kept his eyes on the road.

“Vampires, Werewolves, all kinds of stuff.”

“Vampires and werewolves?! Like in Twilight?”

“No, not like Twilight.” Dean shook his head and Sam laughed. You shoved Dean’s shoulder a bit to let him know that you were joking. Conversation was pretty easy for you and the boys. Especially for you and Dean. You both seemed to have a lot in common. You guys listened to the same kinds of music, you both liked cars, you liked the same foods; pie especially, your personalities just seemed to click. And before long Sam zoned out, leaving you and Dean talking your hearts out.

* * *

Some time later, Dean pulled into a motel parking lot. After parking the impala you grabbed your bag and got out of the car to stretch while Sam went inside to get a room. It was a warm summer night, so the weather was perfect. If you weren’t so tired you’d stay outside all night, but road trips did a number on you.

You sat your bag up on the back of the impala and pulled out one of your mother’s books. You thought it might be helpful to show Dean those symbols.

“Dean, come here.” he had no problem with getting closer to you.

“What is it?” he asked, placing a hand on the small of your back as he came up next to you.

“These symbols, I have to put them up in the walls in our room.”

Dean furrowed his brows and grabbed the book from you, studying the symbols as if he’s seen them before. You’d never actually taken the time to read the books, you didn’t really care. Though you loved your mom, you thought she was kind of crazy. You just put the symbols up for her. It was out of habit.

“These are enochian sigils.”

“Eno - who?” you questioned as Sam made his way back outside.

“What’s that?” Sam asked his brother as he walked up beside him, his eyes widening at the sight of the book.

“Y/N is this your book? Where did you get it?” Sam asked you.

“I don’t know, it was my mom’s-” you shrugged- “she always said I needed to paint those symbols on the walls of wherever I’m staying.”

Sam and Dean both looked at you, before looking at each other.

“These symbols,” Dean began, “they uh, they keep angels out.” He looked back down at the book, flipping through the pages as though he’s never seen such a book before.

“Angels?” you questioned, “Angels are real too?”  
  
“Yeah, they’re not what you think though.” Dean told you.

You nodded as you stood there and waited for the boys to get done flipping through the book. So, your mom wanted you to keep angels out and demons wanted you. What a great way to live.

“Okay, well I’m glad you two are so fascinated by this book,” you brgan, “but I’m tired, can we go inside?”

They both looked up at you and nodded. You grabbed your bag and took your mother’s book from Dean. You and Dean followed Sam into the room. It was a pretty crappy motel. Just how you’d imagine it. Nicotine stained walls, funky smell, flowered beading. At least there was no bugs.

You glanced back and forth between the guys and set your stuff down. You went through your bag and found a tank top and a pair sleep shorts and made your way into the bathroom. As you started the water, which seemed to take longer than it should to get warm you thought about everything that’d happened today.

Angels and demons were real. For some reason you had to hide from both of them. What could angels possibly want with you? Weren’t they supposed to be the good guys? Weren’t they supposed to protect you? And if angels were real, did that mean God was real? And the devil? You had so many questions for Sam and Dean, and you honestly didn’t know if you wanted them all answered or not.

The water got cold a lot quicker than you would’ve liked it to, so you decided to get out. There was no towels, so you just slid your tank top and shorts on over your wet body. You opened the bathroom door and stepped out into the bedroom to see every last sigil painted on the walls. Sam and Dean definitely did a better job than you would have. They’ve obviously seen these before. You looked around, Sam was already asleep and Dean had been waiting for you. You walked over to him and sat down next to him on the bed.

“You guys did all this?” you whispered.

“Yeah, if angels are after you,” he started, “you…don’t wanna mess with that.”

You looked away and nodded. This was all so weird. For some reason processing the thought of angels was harder than processing the thought of demons.

“Well, thank you…for painting them on the walls-” you stood up- “I’m gonna try and get some sleep.”

You started to walk away towards the couch when Dean grabbed your wrist.

“Stay.” he said. You made eye contact and smiled before you climbed up onto the bed. You laid down while Dean shut the lamp off. Moments later you felt his arm wrap around your waist and pull you in close. Your back to his chest.

“I hope this is okay?” he asked you.

You snuggled into him even more, hummed a mhmm, and fell asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

When you woke up the next morning, it took you a minute to figure out where you were. You squinted as the sun hit your face. You rolled over to see Dean, snoring away, cuddling a pillow. You sat up, looking to the other bed and finding it empty.

Just as you stood up, the door opened, and in walked Sam, coffee and breakfast in tow.

“Mornin’,” you mumbled.

“Morning, you sleep just about as heavily as Dean.” he laughed. You looked over, Dean was still knocked out, completely unphased by his brother’s entrance.

Sam handed you a cup of coffee and offered you a breakfast sandwich. You happily took both and sat down at the small table, where you noticed your mother’s book had been flipped through.

“I hope you don’t mind,” Sam began, “It’s just, I’ve never seen anything like these before.”

You nodded as you thought about his words. If all of this supernatural mumbo jumbo was real, it sounded like you might be in some serious shit.

“It’s fine, I never had much interest in these books anyway.” you said as you took a bite of your sandwich.

“So, you don’t know why you’re hiding from angels?” he asked you.

“Nope.”

“Ever met one?”

“Don’t think so, what do they look like?” You looked up at Sam who was now sitting across the table from you, flipping through one of the books.

“Like you and me, they kind of, possess people. The same way demons do, only they need the person’s permission.” Sam talked as if this was his second nature. Which your tired brain was definitely not awake enough to process.

You both heard Dean grunt, causing you both to look over.

“Morning sleepy head.” you said to him. He sat up and smiled at you. It was quite obvious that if he hadn’t heard your voice, he would’ve rolled over and went back to sleep.

“Mornin.” He mumbled, in the same way that you did. He stood up and walked over to the foot of Sam’s bed, which was closest to you and sat down. Sam handed him his coffee and sandwich before he went back to talking with you.

“So what should I know about angels?” you asked.

“They’re dicks,” Dean pointed out, his face full of food, which you thought was kind of adorable for some reason- “except a few.”

“Why are they dicks?” you looked between the brothers as you waited for an explanation.

“God walked out on them.” Dean said after swallowing his mouthful of breakfast.

“God?!” you scoffed, “like God, God? There’s no such thing.”

They both looked at you, slightly shocked that you were down with the idea of angels. But not with the idea of God. Sam and Dean looked at each other, exchanging that same look you noticed that they shared when they knew something.

“Oh, he’s real,” Dean deadpanned, “and he has a sister.”

You looked down as you thought about all of this new information. You were raised to think that God was some kind of cruel joke. You were taught that he was bad, that he was wrong.

Memories flashed in your head of your mother screaming at you for asking about God. _We don’t say his name in this house,_  she would tell you.

You didn’t talk to the boys much as you all got ready to leave. You and Dean kept exchanging flirtatious glances, you wish he’s just do something. You didn’t care that you’d only met him yesterday.

You could tell that both Sam and Dean were trying to figure this all out. They almost seem stumped, which you knew wasn’t a good sign.

* * *

After about an hour of driving you decided to speak up again.

“Tell me everything.”

“Everything?” Sam questioned as he turned to face you.

“Yeah, obviously there’s something weird going on so-” you shrugged, you didn’t quite know how to put your words together- “tell me about the angels, and God.”

Sam and Dean went on to tell you about how an angel named Castiel pulled Dean from hell, how they started the apocalypse. They told you about Michael and Lucifer, about who their vessels were supposed to be. They’d filled you in on how the apocalypse didn’t go down as planned, how Michael and Lucifer got locked up in the cage. They told you about Metatron the trials to close the gates of heaven and hell, and the Mark of Cain. They told you about Amara. By the end of the hour long story, you felt almost as if you’d been with them for the last eight years.  

The strange thing about it all, is that it felt true. You didn’t know what it was, but you felt like there were missing pieces of a puzzle being found.

The three of you had about another five hours of driving to do, so you finally decided to look through your mother’s books. They were all about angels, anything there was to know, there it was. How had you never thought to read them before? Your mother didn’t seem so crazy now.

There was so much information in these books. Even though you didn’t have very much experience when it came to things like this, you could sense that these books were not normal.

“Maybe they just want these books.” you suggested.

Dean shook his head, “That demon tried to take you. If he just wanted the books, someone else would’ve been after you.”

You squinted at Dean before turning your head and looking out the window. You adjusted in your seat, causing the book you were holding to fall off of your lap. You picked it up and tossed it to the side.

“You okay?” Dean asked you, looking at you in the rearview mirror.

“What do you think?”

“Fair enough-” he looked over at his brother- “I think we should stop again. It’d throw anyone off if they’ve been following us.”

Sam nodded, “Sure, we can show Y/N some basic defense while we’re at it.”

“I can fight.” you said.

Sam looked back at you, “You might need to do more than just fight with demons and angels after you.”

You nodded, he could be right. And all you knew was some basic self defense.

“And Dean you should call Cas, see if he can find anything out.” Sam added.

Dean got off the highway and drove around, looking for a motel. When you tried to stretch out in your seat, you noticed an envelope on the floor board. It had your mother’s name on it. It must’ve fell out of the book when you dropped it.

You turned the envelope over and took out what was inside, it had already been opened. You unfolded the piece of paper to find a letter written to your mother. Dated in 1990, just eight months before you were born.

As Dean looked the car in park, he turned in his seat to look at you, a look of pain and confusion on your face.

It was unclear who the letter was from, but it was clear that, whoever wrote it, did not want you to be born.


	4. Chapter 4

“Y/N? You okay?” Dean asked you.

“I…” you trailed off, “yeah, just something my mom wrote. It’s nothing.”

Maybe lying was the best way. You shoved the letter in your back pocket. Most of the letter was worn away, but you understood enough to see why your mother kept you hidden. Whoever had written the letter had wanted you dead, and they must’ve been finally catching up with you.

“You guys, I think I’m just gonna get my own room tonight.” you said as you all got out of the car. You pulled some cash from your wallet and quickly walked to the front office of the hotel. It was really hot out today, so you just wanted to get inside.

Sam and Dean stayed behind, you could tell they were concerned about you. The woman behind the desk gave you a strange look, she must have saw you get out of the impala with Sam and Dean. You ended up paying for both rooms yourself, it was the least you felt that you could do for the boys for trying to protect you.

Sam and Dean met you outside and you handed them their room key. You didn’t say much as you moved passed them to grab your bag and make your way into your room.

Once inside, you kicked off your shoes and dropped your bag. You sat down on the foot of the bed and pulled out the letter. It was addressed to L. For Lorraine, your mother. Rubbing your forehead, you tried to put the pieces together, you tried to read the worn away letters.

_I know what you think what we had was love._

This was the only fully legible line. Maybe your mother had a secret lover? It could’ve been your father.

_Anything but._

The only other legible words. It looked to be the tail end of a sentence. You squinted at the faded piece of paper, trying to make out anything else.

_Father’s mess…….not a child…..rid of….._

You heard a knock at the door as you tried to decipher the letter. You folded it back up and shoved it into your bag before opening the door, relieved when you saw Dean standing there.

He stepped in and you closed the door behind him.

“What’d the note say?” he asked you, his voice filled with concern.

You took a deep breath before going back for the letter. You felt that you could trust Dean. So, why not show him? You handed it to him, watching him nervously as he unfolded it. He stared at it for a moment, you could tell that he was trying to decipher it just as you had.

“I um..” you trailed off. Dean looked up at you and handed the letter back to you. You took it and put it back into your bag.

“Who’s L?”

“My mom, Lorraine.” you walked over to the window unit air conditioner and turned it on full blast before sitting down on your bed.

“Well, I couldn’t tell you who it’s from but, Y/N-” he sat down next to you and placed his hand over yours- “I uh- I don’t think you’re human.”

Your eyes widened. What on earth could he have been talking about? Not human? What the hell else would you be? You felt a tear run down your face. You looked up at Dean, totally lost for words. Normally you’d freak out, come up with something witty to say. But this time, you were just lost.

“Sweetheart…” Dean trailed off before taking you in his arms. You cried for the first time in a long time.

“W-will you stay?” you choked out. You felt so small. You had all of these big scary things after you. Why’d it have to be you? Of all of the people in this world, why you?

“Of course.” Dean ran his hand through your hair as you tried to wipe your tears. You didn’t want to look weak.

You laughed and pulled back from Dean, your eyes still bloodshot from crying.

“What is it?” Dean smiled at you.

“I don’t even know your last name,” you continued laughing, “You broke into my house to kill a demon, I left to go God knows where with you, I might not even be a human, and now I’m crying at you, and I don’t even know your last name.”

Dean laughed as he put an arm around you, “It’s Winchester. We uh, we don’t really tell our last name to a lot of people-”

He trailed off when you looked up to make eye contact with him, he just smiled at you, his green eyes lighting up his entire face. He thought you were beautiful, quite honestly the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

“Well, I like you Dean Winchester.” you reached for his free hand, the one that wasn’t around you. You intertwined your fingers with his.

He leaned in slightly, your eyes still staring into his, “I like you too, Y/N Y/L/N.”

You closed the distance between the two of you and pressed your lips into his. They were warm, soft, and everything you needed right now. You let him grip onto your waist as you climbed up to straddle him.

* * *

“Dean.” you heard a muffled voice say from the other side of the door. A voice that didn’t belong to Sam. Then there was a banging on the door. You shook Dean, but he didn’t budge. Looking over at the clock on the nightstand, you saw that it was only six PM.

There was more banging on the door, so you swung your legs off of the bed, grabbing Dean’s flannel shirt which had been flung onto the floor. You weren’t sure how he could wear flannel in this heat, but right now it came in handy. You looked through the peephole on the door as you buttoned up the shirt. It was a man wearing a suit and trench coat. You slipped on your panties before you opened the door. You immediately overwhelmed by a strange feeling. You couldn’t look up at the man. It was bright. Really, really bright.

“Who are you?” you put a hand to your forehead, trying to pretend that everything was normal, but something was overwhelming for you. It was taking over like a migraine.

“I’m Castiel. You must me Y/N?” He looked at you and tilted his head.

“Yeah, yeah, he’s asleep. Come in.” you turned away from Castiel and walked straight into the bathroom.

You locked the door behind you and sat the toilet seat down. Sitting down while your eyes were closed tight. What the hell? Seeing Castiel was like looking into the Sun.

“Y/N?” you heard Dean on the other side of the door.

You reached out and unlocked the door, allowing him to come in.

“That’s Castiel? The angel?” you asked right away.

“Yeah, why? What’s wrong?” he sat down on the edge of the bathtub across from you. You had your face buried in your hands.

“He’s bright, like, I-I don’t know. It’s like looking at the damn Sun.” Dean reached next to you by the sink for a dixie cup and filled it up with water.

You happily took the cup from him and took a sip of the water as the painful feeling behind your eyes faded. Dean stood up and rubbed your back before exiting the bathroom.

A minute later he came back, “Y/N, I know you said it hurts but, Cas might be able to help.”

You looked over, at their feet, still slightly blocking your eyes.

“I can look at your feet, it’s your face that I can’t look at.” you said, almost laughing at how ridiculous this all sounded.

Castiel turned to look at Dean, his brows furrowed as he knelt down by you, “Look at me, I can heal you if it hurts too much.”

You slowly moved your hands from your face and looked up. Immediately blinded, your hands flew back up to cover your eyes. Cup of water falling to the floor. He was so close, this time you nearly screamed from the pain.

You felt two fingers come to your forehead, followed by the pain subsiding.

Castiel looked up at Dean as you felt tears stream down your face.

“She can see my halo.”


	5. Chapter 5

“Y-your what?” you looked up, only to immediately regret it as the excruciating pain once again took over.

“ _AHH_  Make it  _stop, ughh_ ” you screamed. Your hands shaking as more tears fell down your cheeks, groaning in pain. It was unlike anything you’d ever felt.

You felt Castiel place two fingers to your forehead once more, helping the pain subside.

“Here-” Cas gently grabbed your wrist and placed a finger on your pulse point. You looked down to see a small symbol, similar to the ones in your mother’s books.

You looked up, able to see Castiel’s face for the first time. Your heart skipped a beat at the sight of him. He was absolutely beautiful. Eyes as blue as the sea, dark, thick hair, literally the face of an angel. His halo was dimmed down significantly. It was beautiful as well. You could swear that you saw a set of wings, but the sight quickly vanished as did his halo.

“W-what did you do?” you asked.

“I temporarily weakened your senses,” Castiel began, “it can be undone when we find out what’s going on with you.”

His words were genuine and he seemed to have the kindest of hearts. You don’t know why you could tell all of these things about him; but everything inside of you reacted..differently to him.

“Oh.” was all you got out.

You sat there for a moment, Castiel still holding onto your wrist as you looked into his eyes. You felt butterflies in your stomach, which you hadn’t felt for a long time, not even with Dean. You were finally able to look up at Dean and stand up, still glancing at Castiel whenever you could.

Dean kissed you before you sat down on the bed.

“So how can we figure this out?” you asked as Castiel opened the door for Sam. You hadn’t realized he’d been knocking, he must’ve heard you scream.

You noticed Sam, Dean, and Cas all exchange a look. Without saying anything, you knew that they all had the same idea, and that you probably wouldn’t like it. Dean came and sat down next to you and placed a hand on your knee.

“Cas can touch your soul, it might give us some idea of what’s happening, or tell us what you are.” he suggested.

What you are. Not who. That really felt strange. You forgot that earlier when Dean read that letter that he’d said he didn’t think you were human.

You nodded, “So I’m guessing..it hurts?”

“Once he’s done it stops hurting almost immediately.” Sam answered you.

“Comforting-” you shook your head as your stomach did flips- “okay, let’s do this.”

Dean helped you get situated on the bed before placing a hand on your shoulder, and one on your leg. Sam coming over and doing the same thing on the opposite side. You rested your head on the pillow and shut your eyes tightly. A moment later, you felt Castiel’s hand entering your abdomen. It was uncomfortable, but it didn’t exactly hurt. You may have grunted once or twice but it wasn’t what they had made it out to be.

You opened your eyes, Sam and Dean let go of you so that you could sit up. They had both been looking at you in awe. Any time they had either had that done to them, or had seen it done, it was very excruciating. The three of you looked up at Cas as he was rolling his sleeve back down.

“Well?” Sam asked.

The look on Cas’ face was one of shock, maybe even disbelief “That certainly explains why both angels and demons are after her.”

“Why?” Dean seemed to be getting aggravated. He wanted answers just as badly as you did. You however, were at a loss for words.

“She’s a nephilim.”

Nephilim. You tuned everything out at the mention of the word. You’d heard it before. Had your mother mentioned it? Had you read it somewhere?

“The spawn of an angel and a human?” Dean spat out. Clearly upset.

 _Well, at least I’m partly human,_  you thought

“Yes, I imagine that angels are after her to kill her, and demons want her power.” Castiel stated.

“Are you okay?” Sam asked you. You shook your head as you tried to come back to reality.

“Power?” you questioned, “I’ve never had any powers.” You didn’t think.

“They can be suppressed from a very young age. Your mother probably found a way very early on.” Castiel told you.

You all stared at Cas. None of you could believe what you were hearing. You’d always felt normal. But what if your normal, wasn’t actually normal?

“C-can I be alone with Dean for a minute?” you asked.

“Sure, Y/N. We’ll be next door.” Sam told you. You watched as Sam got up and followed Castiel out of the room. You notice Cas glance back at you as he walked out, followed by a muffled, very quiet ringing in your ears.

Dean scooted up next to you and placed a hand on the small of your back.

“You okay sweetheart?” he asked you. You leaned into him and sighed.

“It’s just um, a lot-” Dean laid back and you went with him, resting your head on his chest- “so, I’m half angel?”

“Sounds like it.” Dean reached for your hand, and you began tracing the lines of his palm with your fingers.

Just as you began to relax, you heard shouting outside of your room. Dean jumped up and grabbed his gun from the nightstand.

“Stay here.” He whispered to you as he slid out of the room.

You hopped up and ran to the door, looking through the peephole to see a man and a woman with black eyes fighting with Cas and Sam. You jumped back and went straight into your back to put a pair of pants on. Castiel said you have powers, so why not try and use them…right?

You opened the door, gaining the attention of everyone outside.

“Y/N, I said stay inside!” Dean shouted as another demon showed up and grabbed him from behind.

You stepped forward towards one of the demons, and placed two fingers to his forehead, Just as Castiel had done to you. The demon reached out to grab a hold of you but before he could, he fell to the ground as a pile of dust.

You looked up to find that the boys had finished off the other two demons. Castiel stared at you with curiosity. Killing that demon had been so effortless for you. Especially since you’d never used any powers before.

“Y/N.” Castiel finally said.

“Yeah?”

“Do you know who your father is?” he asked.

You shook your head and looked over at Dean, who began rusing at you.

“Y/N! Are you okay?” he shouted.

“I feel fi-” you were interrupted by blood dripping into your mouth. You put your hand to your face to find that your nose had been bleeding, just before you blacked out.


	6. Chapter 6

The next few days had been interesting. You and the boys made your way back to Kansas to some place they called ‘the bunker’. It was a cozy place, surprisingly. You felt…somewhat safe. You were in a strange place mentally, given the fact that you weren’t the shy or anxious type. Finding out you’re not totally human can do that to a girl.

Dean hadn’t left your side since you passed out at the motel the other day, not that you really minded. Sam had completely buried himself in your mother’s books. Looking for clues on who your father might be, or a way to figure it out. Castiel left soon after you’d woke back up the other day. Dean said it had nothing to do with you, but you could sense that it did.

The small enochian symbol that Castiel had placed on your wrist was still there, and as you taught yourself to control your senses, it faded away. Cas didn’t say that would happen, but he also didn’t know what you were at that point. You’d find yourself running your thumb across the small symbol where Cas had touched you. It felt tingly. Whether it was from the symbol or from Cas’ touch, you didn’t know; but you couldn’t leave it alone.

Everyday, you’d go into the training area that the bunker had, alone. You wanted to work on yourself and awaken your powers. You weren’t entirely sure how to do it, but you seemed to be getting somewhere. Sam had read in one of the books that nephilim powers can be essentially ‘tucked away’ as young as infancy. Which would explain why you had no recollection of any sort of power.

Today, you were working on something that freaked you out a little bit. Dean called it, ‘angel radio’. You’d managed to tap into if a few times while trying to awaken your dormant powers, but the language the voices spoke - enochian, you couldn’t understand it. Not yet anyway, and it sounded intimidating. You sat in the middle of the floor cross legged, your elbows resting on your legs and your head resting in your hands as you allowed the voices from angel radio enter your head.

You closed your eyes after immediately recognizing one voice in particular.

_Y/N, when you’re alone, and you can hear this, answer me._

It was Castiel. You knew it. His voice sent chills down your spine, even when it was just in your head. Your head started to hurt a little and you knew it was almost time to call it quits for the day.

_I’m here, Castiel._

You didn’t really know what else to say. He just said to answer him; and you did. A moment later you heard the flutter of wings behind you. You stood up quickly and turned around with just enough time to see Castiel standing there, tucking away his wings.

“I thought angels had white wings.” You said, admiring the dark charcoal color of his wings.

“Not all angels.” he answered you. His voice once again sending chills through your body.

You stood there, unsure of what to say, feeling nervous as Castiel stared you down.

“It doesn’t hurt to look at you anymore.” you told him, laughing awkwardly as you shifted your weight on your feet.

“How are your powers coming along?” Castiel looked you up and down. He could see a difference in you. The grace within you was igniting, and he couldn’t look away.

“Pretty good,” you started, “I can do some cool stuff.”

There was something…off in the room. Castiel wasn’t happy and you could feel it.

“Do you have a problem with me?” you spat out, unintentionally sounding very rude.

Your question seemed to render him speechless. There was something, he just didn’t expect you to pick up on it. He didn’t expect your senses to be working as well as they were quite yet.

Castiel broke eye contact with you and absentmindedly drug his tongue across his bottom lip.

“Well?” you almost yelled at him, but you were trying to keep it down. For some reason, you didn’t want Sam or Dean to know he was here.

“It’s your existence.” Castiel stated coldly.

“Excuse me?”

“Nephilim. They are unholy.” Castiel looked back up at you.

Those few words cut through you. You thought back to the letter you’d found written to your mother. Unholy was one of the few legible words.

“What did you want Castiel?” you tried your best to ignore what he said.

He didn’t answer you. You saw his wings unfold from his back and just like that, he was gone. You were starting to see why Sam and Dean didn’t really like angels. Though they’d told you nothing but good things about Castiel, there was just..something.

_Dammit._

You turned around when you heard the door open.

“Hey baby.” You relaxed at the sound of Dean’s voice. You weren’t really sure what you and him were, but you like whatever it was.

“Hey.” you walked towards him and into his arms. You rested your head against his shoulder.

“You okay?” he asked you as he rubbed your back.

“Yeah, I’m just..worn out.” you lied. Really, you were frustrated. About these new powers. About Castiel. Damn Castiel. Something about him struck a nerve in you. Did he hate you? Why was he so stiff around you? Was he just like that? Before he’d found that you were a nephilim, he seemed pretty caring.

“Why don’t you go relax for awhile, I’ll grab us some beers and we can-”

You cut Dean off with a long, passionate kiss. You knew what he was getting at, and it was the perfect way to get out all of your frustration. You were only cut off by the sound of Dean’s phone ringing. You sighed and pulled away.

“Who is it?” you asked as he pulled out his phone. You glanced at the name on the screen, but he jerked back when he’d seen who it was.

Crowley. Who the hell was Crowley? Judging by Dean’s reaction it didn’t seem to be anyone good.

“What do you want?” he answered the call, very unhappily. You decided it was best to leave him alone for this one.

You walked out of the training room and made your way into the library by Sam. Maybe he’d found something new in the books. He looked up when he saw you come in and sit down.

“Where’s Dean?”

“On the phone, with someone named Crowley?” You rested your head on the table, you felt a headache coming on. Anytime you tapped into a new power you just felt weak.

You looked up at Sam when he didn’t respond. It was as if something had clicked in his head.

“Sam? What is it?”

Before he could say anything, Dean walked into the room. You and Sam both stared at him with a deer in the headlight look.

“So Crowley thought it would be a good idea to tell the angels about Y/N.”

You shook your head, “And who’s Crowley?”

“King of Hell.” Sam sighed.

“Oh, naturally,” you started “isn’t…Satan, the King of Hell?”

“Lucifer is, he’s locked up.” Dean added.

“Right, forgot.” Sarcasm was heavy in your voice but neither Sam or Dean seemed to care much right now. They were too busy looking around and thinking.

“I thought you guys said this place was safe, why are you worried?”

Sam and Dean both just looked at each other. You hated when they did that. In the week that you’d known them, that look was never good.

“Well we’re gonna need Cas.” Dean said.

“For what?!” you snapped, both boys looked at you, surprised and confused by your reaction.

Before they could answer you, you all stood up at the sound of an unfamiliar set of wings. In the war room stood a man, with a long silver blade in his hand. You’d seen that blade before, it was the same kind that Castiel had used when trying to fight off those demons the other day.

When the man made eye contact with you, in the blink of an eye he was standing directly in front of you. You knew this man was an angel; and you knew that he was here to kill you.

He drew his blade back as he gripped onto your shirt. You heard Sam and Dean yell for Castiel as they tried to step forward to help you, but the angel had thrown them across the room with his grace.

You tried to pull back, but before you could, you felt the blade penetrate your abdomen.


	7. Chapter 7

You cried out, seeing Sam and Dean against the wall on the other side of the room. They hadn’t expected this. You hadn’t expected this. The angel was gone in an instant, he’d left immediately after stabbing you. You looked down where your wound was, blood and what you now knew as grace coming out.

Sam and Dean came up by your side as you began to black out. Dean caught you before you fell to the floor and Sam was busy calling Cas.

“Can you try and fix yourself?” Dean asked, completely panicked as your body went limp from the loss of blood and probably the loss of your grace.

“D-don’t k-n-” you tried to speak but everything was so hazy. You were dizzy and nauseous, and you just wanted to give up.

You closed your eyes, ready for the darkness to take you away. You were ready for death.

“Get her to a bed.” you heard a familiar voice say, before you felt the rush of cool air against your skin as you were being carried to a room. You felt Dean lie you down on a bed, and that was it before you let go.

——

“Dammit Cas help her!” Dean shouted as your breathing slowed, “Come on sweetheart wake up.”

Dean grabbed onto your hand and caressed your face while he waited for Castiel to try and heal your stab wound.

“I can heal the human part of her-” he placed his hand over the wound, beginning to close it up- “but her grace is damaged and I’m not sure  how to fix that.”

Sam was soaking up what was left of your blood with towels while Dean started to lose it in front of them. Tears welled up in his eyes as he looked at your lifeless body, silently begging you to come back to him. He wasn’t sure if you could hear prayer or not, but he sure did try.

“She’s not breathing.” Dean said, Castiel looking up from your stab wound, which took longer than it should have for him to heal. Cas tried speeding up the process, closing up the wound just enough now to stop the bleeding and to keep you from losing anymore of your grace.

Castiel came up on the other side of the bed, sitting down next to you. He looked you up and down before looking up at Dean.

“I’m going to try and give her some of my grace.”  
  
“Won’t that hurt you?” Sam added in.

“Not if I’m careful. But It might become, unsafe for you both in here. I don’t know what will happen.”

Sam seemed to understand what Cas meant, Dean however was more reluctant to leave your side.

“No.” Dean said.

“Dean, if you want to even try to save her, this is how.” Cas said angrily.

Castiel was now more than ever feeling a strange pull towards you. He had to help you. He didn’t know why, and he didn’t exactly know how. He didn’t even like the idea. To him, nephilim were just abominations. Wasted space in God’s universe. But for some reason it was physically hurting him to not try and help you.

Castiel angrily shook his head as he took one of your hands in his and closed his eyes.

“Dean we have to go.” Sam shouted as the light from yours and Castiel’s grace began to light up the room.  Sam grabbed his brother’s arm as they both tried to block their vision and pulled him out, shutting the door behind him.

The room was completely silent, but very, very bright. There was a light breeze and it became difficult for even Cas to hold on. This was weakening him. He fell down on the bed next to you as he tried to fix your damaged grace. He needed to slow the process down. He opened his eyes to look over at you, and for the first time, he’d seen your true form.

You were different than the typical nephilim. Normally, nephilim wouldn’t have a ‘true form’. Normally, nephilim wouldn’t have wings, but as yours became visible to Castiel, he realized just how powerful you were. As he held onto your hand and slowed the process down to save his own grace, the room becoming much too bright for any human to handle. Soon, everything in the room was gone and it was as if you and Castiel were floating in mid air.

By the time Castiel slowed the process down enough to keep himself from becoming too weak; saving you took hours. Him holding your hand turned into him wrapping his arms around you to hold on. He was weakening, and before long he’d lost consciousness.

Sam and Dean didn’t dare open the door, the whole process had affected the entire bunker. It felt like an earthquake, and alarms were sounding left and right. They actually had to go outside. Whatever angels and demons didn’t know you were there before, knew now; and as soon as Cas was done, you all would have to leave.

——

You took in a sharp breath and opened your eyes. You began to cough, trying to gather your thoughts and remember what happened. You felt different as well. Less human, more powerful. You looked to your side, surprised to see Castiel lying there, arms wrapped around you, unconscious.

You were stabbed, you almost died. Where was Dean? Shouldn’t these be Dean’s arms wrapped around you? As the few memories you had came rushing back to you, you realized that angels didn’t sleep. No one had ever told you this, so you weren’t sure how you knew, but you just knew.

“Castiel?” you said, your voice hoarse from having blood come up your throat earlier.

 _Castiel?_  You prayed this time, figuring there’d be a better chance of hearing you. You moved your hand up, instinctively placing two fingers to his temple. You closed your eyes, and saw was Castiel saw.

It was a beautiful garden. Green grass, beautiful flowers in every color you could imagine, the bluest of skies, and off to the side, sat a concrete bench with Castiel sitting happily on it. You walked over to him, surprised that he noticed you. He looked up at you, confused.

“Y/N, what are you doing here?” he asked.

“I woke up and you were, sleeping? You need to wake up.”

“It worked.” A smile broke out on Castiel’s face, it was clear to you that he’d tried saving you.

“Yeah um, hey-” you rubbed the back of your neck nervously- “So I don’t really know how I got here, in your mind…could you maybe wake up now?”

Castiel stood up and nodded. In a second you were back in your own mind, still lying on the bed, looking Cas straight in the face as his eyes opened. God, were his eyes blue; and his halo was perfectly visible to you. It illuminated this wondrous light above him, showing all of his best features. His grace was blue like his eyes, and if you looked deep enough, you could see his true form. Which was calming, very large. Overwhelming, but magical.

You realized you still had your fingers placed on his temple, your heart fluttered as you slowly removed them. Your hand unintentionally tracing his face as it slid down.

This whole time that you and Cas were lying there, you hadn’t realized the way he had been looking as you. Your grace was a pure, golden white; which was now tinted with some of his blue grace. Your eyes lit up with your own grace and shined brightly, mesmerizing him. You didn’t have a halo, which seemed to be the only thing you’d had in common with the average nephilim. You didn’t need one however, your own grace mixed with your human soul illuminated your features beautifully. When you were unconscious he’d gotten a good look at your wings, which were made up of beautiful hues of violet, magenta, and gold.

You and Castiel had both been so transfixed on each other, you hadn’t realized that your hand had rested on his cheek. He hadn’t realized his hand had moved up your side, to your waist, just below your bra, and underneath your blood soaked shirt. When you finally took a breath, and realized what was happening, you noticed your faces were just inches from each other. You felt Castiel take a breath before he closed the distance between you, softly pressing his lips to yours.


	8. Chapter 8

Castiel’s lips were soft and gentle. His touch was equally as gentle, but at the same time hungry for more. As his hand rested on your side, it sent violent shivers coursing through your body; but it it was warm, tingly, and addicting.  _It must be his grace,_ you thought.

_You’ll get used to it._

You heard Castiel’s voice loud and clear in your head. He must’ve heard what you were thinking, he was confirming what you were in fact feeling his grace. It felt similar to when he healed you in the motel room, when his halo was too bright for you to look at.

You wanted nothing more than to stay like this, Castiel’s lips on yours felt like the possible reason you were put on this earth. But you needed to pull away.

You pulled away slowly, reluctantly. You put your forehead against his, you kept your hand on his cheek; he kept his hand on your side.

“What’s happening?” you asked, your voice low, and shaky.

“I don’t know.” He responded, his voice equally as low.

You continued looking into his eyes, unsure of what to say. You were more or less mesmerized by the sight of Castiel.

“Cas? Y/N?” you heard Dean’s voice echo in the hall, which finally broke your gaze from the angel.

You jumped up out of the bed, your hand finding it’s way to where you’d been stabbed earlier to find the area completely healed. Cas got up a bit slower than you had as he was still weakened from healing you. You walked to the door of the room and opened it up, immediately being met face to face with Dean.

He smiled, happy to see that you were up. He pulled the bottom of your shirt up to see for himself that you were better before wrapping his arms around you. You relaxed in his embrace, his touch that’d you become quite familiar with over these last few days, comforting you. Dean kissed the top of your head and took a deep breath before pulling back.

“We have to go-” he looked up, talking to Castiel as well- “all of us, whatever Cas did put a giant bullseye on the bunker.”

Before you had the chance to say anything, you began to hear voices, speaking in enochian, a language that you could now recognize; but not yet understand. There was also a faint ringing sound, and your vision tunneled a bit. You pulled back and looked at Castiel to see if maybe he’d been praying to you. But he just tilted his head, while squinting as if he was surprised you could hear it.

“What?” Dean asked.

“I don’t know, I-I can’t understand it.” you said, still looking at Cas.

Just as the voices had stopped, you looked back at Dean before Cas spoke up.

“We have to go,  _now._ ” Castiel sounded worried.

“That’s what I just said!” Dean exclaimed; rolling his eyes as he threw his hands up in the air.

Castiel walked towards you both, placing a hand on both you and Dean; then suddenly you were all in the impala with Sam. Dean started the car up and peeled out of the garage.

“Where will we go?” you asked, looking at Castiel, who was in the backseat with you.

Dean shrugged in frustration as he white-knuckled the steering wheel.

Castiel reached over and placed a hand on your knee, trying to comfort you. You scooted away, not wanting Dean to notice, but he did. He glanced at you in the rear view mirror, then at Cas. He didn’t say anything, he just kept driving.

“Y/N,” Castiel started, “you need to learn how to use your wings.”

You looked over at him, wide eyed, “M-my…wings?”

Sam turned to look at both you and Cas, trying to figure out what was going on. Both him and Dean could tell that something happened between you and Castiel. Whether it was romantic or strictly angelic, they weren’t sure. Quite frankly, you weren’t sure either; and it was frustrating.

“That itch, just over your shoulder blades? It’s your wings.” he told you as he drug his hand over the area he’d referred to. You glared at him for using a less than gentle touch.

But he was right, there had been a slight itch there since you had begun tapping into your grace. Not an itch like you needed to scratch, more of an annoyance. Like you were constricted. You felt the urge to stretch.

“Okay then, so how do I use them?” you said with a bit of attitude. There had been a lot going on and your patience was wearing thin.

“Y/N-” Sam tried to intervene as the tension in the car intensified.

“No.-” You held your hand up- “Sam, I apparently have to learn how to use my wings.” You imitated Cas slightly when you talked.

You noticed Sam’s face turn red until you put your hand back down. As he took a sharp breath in, everyone in the car looked at you. You must’ve been suffocating him without realizing.

 _You need to be careful_. You heard Castiel’s voice in your head again.

 _Can you just show me how to use my wings?_ You asked him through prayer. Maybe Sam and Dean would stop staring if you stopped talking.

_Not here. You’ll wreck the car._

You leaned back, crossing both your arms and legs. You turned away from Cas and glanced at Dean in the rear view mirror. Sam had pulled out his laptop to do something nerdy while the four of you sat in silence.

Something was changing in you. Yes, now you were fully aware of your angelic side, but you felt your personality changing. Your patience wasn’t just wearing thin because of what was going on. It was wearing thin because you didn’t know how to handle all of this power. Is this why your existence was forbidden? Is this why Castiel was weary of you? You knew his opinion of you had changed since he first discovered what you were. But you still noticed how unsure he was of you.

You rested your head on the seat and closed your eyes, using your grace to block everything out. Blocking out Castiel from wandering into your mind. Blocking out the metallic smell of blood on your shirt. Blocking out thoughts of what was going to happen with you and Dean. Blocking out the fact that you didn’t feel the slightest bit of guilt for what had happened between you and Cas. Blocking out that you didn’t feel guilty for suffocating Sam. Blocking out the fact that any sense of remorse you had was fading away, and that there was nothing that you could do about it.


	9. Chapter 9

You woke to the sound of the impala’s doors opening and closing. It was dark outside, which meant you must’ve been driving for hours. Everyone was silent as you got out of the car. You could still feel the tension in the air from earlier.

When closed the door behind you, Dean put his arm around you and brought you in for a deep, possessive kiss. You practically melted into him, even though you could tell this was his way of telling Castiel to back off. Especially when his hand slid down to your ass. But you could also feel his energy, something angelic that you weren’t quite used to. You returned the kiss. Dean still made your heart flutter, after all.

“Let’s go.” Castiel spat out from the other side of the impala. Sam looked over at him and shook his head, not wanting to get involved.

When you’d finally pulled away and gotten the chance to look around, you saw that you were at the edge of a field, against the woods. The stars shined brightly up above as the four of you began walking towards the old abandoned house on the other side of the field.

 _Do you want to try to use your wings?_  You heard Castiel ask you silently. You’d calmed down some; so you thought it could be a good idea. You’d gotten some sleep anyways, you would be up for awhile regardless.

“Sure.” you stopped walking and turned to face Castiel. Earning confused looks from Sam and Dean as they hadn’t heard Castiel say anything.

“I’m going to help her fly.” He told them. Dean stood there, watching. It clicked in his head that the two of you must’ve been communicating via prayer, or angel radio or whatever. He didn’t care what it was. Castiel was his best friend, and he trusted him. But you were..you, and although you’d only spent a short amount of time together, his feelings for you were strong.

“It’s fine Dean,” you assured him, “if someone finds me, it’d be helpful if I could fly away.”

Dean stepped towards you and gave you another longing kiss. You melted into him again, before you pulled away and playfully shoved him off, winking at him.

As Sam and Dean got closer and closer to the abandoned house on the other side of the field, you turned to Cas.

“So what do I do?” you asked. You were slightly annoyed, but you unsure as to why.

“You need to relax.” Castiel walked up to you, put his hand on your shoulder and turned you around.

His touch was addicting to you. You felt the tingling of his grace throughout your body anytime he laid a hand on you, and it was intoxicating. Once he was behind you, you felt him place his other hand on your other shoulder. He squeezed gently, trying to get you to relax.

“Why do I need to relax?”

“The first time you spread your wings hurts if you’re tense. Especially when they’ve been folded away for this long.” Castiel told you as he tried to massage away your tension.

After a few minutes of awkward silence, you were still tense. You could feel the itching Castiel spoke of earlier intensify slightly, but you couldn’t relax. You were worried, and your body wouldn’t cooperate.

“It’s not working.” you sighed as you tried to reach around behind you and scratch your back. It was getting annoying. Before you could stand it, but when Castiel rubbed your shoulders, it made it worse.

“Could you help me out here, Cas?” you asked. You’re arms not quite long enough to hit the right spot.

Castiel tilted his head, slightly amused at the sight of you, but he had an idea. He put his hands on your shoulder blades, right where he said your wings were, right where the itch was. He pushed down with the palms of his hands, he then pushed outwards. It felt as if your back was opening, but it felt good, relieving. You unintentionally moaned as Castiel repeated what he’d just done. Luckily, Castiel ignored it. But did you want him to?

 _Relax._  His prayer was commanding. He was ordering you to relax. He pushed down on you with his hands again, sending the same sensation through you. You could feel it course through your bones. Your head fell back as he continued to massage where your wings supposedly were.

“Now turn around.” Castiel said when he’d finally felt you’d relaxed.

You did as he said, and you were completely taken by surprise when you saw his wings on full display. They were the same charcoal color as they were the first time you’d seen them, but now that you could see this grace, they shimmered beautiful hues of blue in the moonlight. The sight of him was truly breathtaking. And for a moment, you wondered if he’d felt the same about you.

Castiel took your wrists and pulled you close to him. He had you put your arms around him, right where his wings came out of his back. Your heart was pounding as you did this, it felt so intimate. He placed his hands on your waist to keep you steady for whatever was about to happen.

“Close your eyes,” he began, though you could hardly focus with his face this close to yours, “feel how the base of my wings move. Try repeating what I do, with your own wings.” His lips were practically brushing against yours as he spoke.

You nodded, closing your eyes, just as he said. His breathing became hitched as your hands rubbed his wings gently. You relaxed, something about being this close to him was incredibly calming. You felt one of his hands come up to the back of your neck and slowly move your hair out of the way. You focused on your back while Castiel moved his wings slowly for you. You did as he did, feeling the stirring of your wings inside you.

Castiel’s head fell forward, resting it on your shoulder as you gripped onto his wings tighter. You’d wondered if you hurt him but the low growl that escaped his mouth told you otherwise. Castiel made one final move, stretching his back. You copied his movements, and with one last stretch, you felt it. You felt your wings emerge from your back. It felt natural, you opened your eyes as you stretched them out, letting the the cool summer breeze rustle in your feathers.

You pulled back from Castiel. You laughed as you reached back and felt your feathers. They were incredibly soft. Softer than Castiel’s. His feathers were a little more rough, probably from years of use. You spun around and laughed, amazed by your wingspan. Your wings were much larger than Castiel’s.

The human eye wouldn’t be able to perceive the colors of your feathers. The shades of violet, magenta, and gold were much more vibrant than anything you’d ever seen. The way they shimmered in the moonlight was captivating. Castiel thought so as well, he couldn’t take his eyes off of you.

You noticed Cas’ face turn a slight pink color as you stepped towards him.

“I did it!” you exclaimed, stopping right in front of him. The smile on his face contagious, or maybe it was your smile. You didn’t care either way. Castiel didn’t seem to smile often, but the way his face was lit up in this moment was nothing less than perfect.

“You did-” he said, placing his hands back on your waist and pulling you close- “now fly us somewhere.” he whispered the last part of what he said while you watched his wings fold away, disappearing behind him.

“How?” The thought of flying made you slightly nervous. Castiel rested his forehead against yours.

“Just do it.” He whispered again.

You closed your eyes and imagined your small house back in Illinois. You wondered if it was still there, just as you’d left it. Your wings moved up, then down again. You opened your eyes to find Castiel watching you, his forehead still against yours.

You pulled back and looked around. You were in your living room. It wasn’t the same anymore, your landlord must’ve assumed you’d left and had already started redoing the place. What you now knew as enochian warding sigils that you’d had painted on the walls were gone, scraped away with the wallpaper.

The furniture was gone and it was much larger now that is was empty. You felt a little sad that this small place you loved and once called home was no longer yours. It was where you’d been since your mother passed, it was all you’d ever known since you’d been alone.

As you traced your hand along the walls, Castiel came over and stood in front of you. He could feel how much emotion there was flowing through you. He reached out and took you into his arms. You leaned into him, letting him hold you, letting the low hum of his grace calm you. You pulled away from him once again after a moment, unsure of what to do next.

“We have all night, where else would you like to go?” He asked while you looked around the house.

“I-I don’t know.” you thought about things you’d like to see, places you’d like to go. You’ve never been able to travel, and you were starting to realize that you could now go anywhere.

You looked up at Castiel and smiled, “The ocean.”

You reached out and took Castiel’s hand in yours. You spread your wings with ease this time; and in a millisecond, you were both gone.


	10. Chapter 10

The night sky above the ocean was beautiful. The stars flickered in the sky, the way that the water reflected the moonlight was captivating. You’d taken your shoes off so that you could walk along the shoreline. But you couldn’t walk. You just stood there in amazement. The ocean was something that you’d never seen before.

You let the small waves roll off of your barefeet as you sat down, not caring if you got wet. You wondered if anyone would notice if you stayed there forever. You felt Castiel sit down behind you. You glanced back at him as you allowed his arms to lace around you from behind. He pulled you into him while you stared back up at the magnificent view in front of you. One of your arms rested on Castiel’s leg beside you while the other absentmindedly traced his hand where he was holding you.

“The ocean is one of my father’s favorite creations.” He said quietly against your ear.

You looked to your side, where Castiel’s face was incredibly close to yours, to be met with his ocean-blue eyes. You were still astonished that if you looked deep enough, his true form would shine through. Castiel looked into your eyes, completely awestruck as he wondered how you could be so beautiful when your existence was forbidden.

You hadn’t noticed that you weren’t breathing until Castiel blinked; his radiancy had taken your breath away. Your heart sped up as you finally took a breath. Your stomach churned as he rested his forehead against yours. This was not a feeling that you had with Dean, you were for some reason nervous when you were with him. Your arm that had been resting on his leg moved up to the side of his face as you turned in his arms; your mouth trembling as your lips met his.

This was much more intense than the first time. Your hand cupped his face as his tongue slid into your mouth. His arms loosened their grip around you, allowing you to turn around and face him all the way. You climbed up into his lap, straddling him as your lips moved together in sync. You felt the warm buzz from his grace within you. You could feel your grace reaching out for him, begging for more. You felt your soul call out to him as if a part of it wanted to become one with him.

You decided to experiment a little, by pushing your grace out onto him; engulfing his body the way his was with yours. He moaned into your mouth slightly as you moved your grace about, wrapping your arms around his neck as he used his own grace to pulse through your body. You shuddered from the new feeling. You pressed your lips into his harder, desperate for more. You wanted to feel everything that Castiel could do, you wanted to feel his body against yours, you wanted to feel him inside of you. He began to lose his balance as you felt his member harden underneath you.

He fell back onto the sand slowly, his hands on your waist as you bit his bottom lip gently.

“Shouldn’t we go somewhere a little bit more private?” He asked. You looked up, scanning the beach with your new and improved vision.

“No one’s here.” you whispered before kissing Castiel again. The waves began to wash up over you both, not that you cared. The water was warm and it was giving you both an excuse to shed your clothes. You sat up for a moment to take your shirt off, but Castiel stopped you.

He grabbed your forearm gently. When you looked down, you were in nothing but your bra and panties, and Castiel was in nothing but his boxers. Between the light from his halo, and the glistening from the water washing up around him; you couldn’t handle it any longer. You came back down on him as quickly as you could, crashing your lips into his. He wrapped his arm all the way around you and rolled you both over; causing water from his wet torso to drip on to you as you laid underneath him. Your arms found their way around him as his hands roamed your body.

Castiel’s lips moved from your mouth, grazing your jaw line as they traveled to your neck. Your head flew back to the sand, the water moving your hair as it washed up around you. His hand moved up to the back of your neck as he worked his way down your chest, your bra disappearing from your body as you allowed Castiel to explore you. He used his grace to tease your breasts while a wet hand grabbed your sides, sending chills through you. You let your wings unfurl underneath you as your body relaxed under his touch. Castiel’s erection twitching from the sight of you. His mouth was almost to your navel when he stopped for a moment to look up at you.

You looked down at him, and smiled when you saw his own wings unfurl.

“You are the most beautiful thing in all creation, Y/N.” he told you. You blushed as he leaned back down to kiss your body again. His lips making their way to the waistband of your panites. Instead of wishing them away with his grace, this time he slowly hooked his fingers in the waistband and pulled the ocean water soaked under garment down your legs. He flung them to the side where the rest of your clothes were resting. His hands ran up your legs, his mouth soon trailing the path of his hands. He kissed your thighs, biting slightly as he approached your aching center.

Your hands found their way down to tangle themselves in Castiel’s hair as his mouth grazed over your folds. Castiel didn’t mind the taste of the salt water on you as he delved his tongue into you, kissing and licking where you needed it the most. He wanted nothing more than to please you. You felt his grace creep up inside of you while he sucked at your sensitive clit. His grace felt warm and tingly, brushing against your g-spot whilst twisting, turning, and thrusting. Castiel moved one of his hands down to stroke himself. His need to be inside you was overwhelming. He moaned as he lapped at your folds. The speed at which his grace thrusted increased as he began sucking on your clit again.

Your hands searched for something to grab onto as your orgasm approached. You settled for gripping onto your wings. Your feathers were soft and strong. Your wings began to tremble as your body writhed. Castiels free hand reached up for your breast to tease your nipple between his fingers as your orgasm began to rip through you.

“ _Cas, yes-_ ” you cried out as he worked you through your pulsing orgasm. He moaned as he stroked himself, your writhing body, and you crying out his name causing him to come in his hand.

He groaned while your orgasm died down. You looked down at him, mumbling out a  _fuck_ to yourself from the look of pleasure on Castiel’s face. He rested his head on your thigh while he finished himself off. You ran your fingers through your hair and started to sit up when he was done. He sat up to kiss you, both of you now completely soaked from the incoming tide.

“That was really hot,” you breathed against his lips. He smiled as he bit your bottom lip and sucking it into his mouth gently. He too would stay here forever if it meant he could be with you.

With a single thought, Castiel had you cleaned up and dressed. You found yourself standing up with Castiel’s arms wrapped around you. You reached up and wrapped your arms around his neck. He captured your lips with his.

Castiel had never felt this way before. He’d never known this feeling. Every fiber of his being wanted to protect you, to be with you, to please you. He wanted to  _be_  part of you. His hand ran up your back and stroked your feathers, your wings folded up since you’d been standing. Your tongue entered his mouth just as you began to hear strange voices.

Your lips stopped moving and your eyes opened as the familiar ringing in your ears caught your attention. The voices were louder this time; but still in enochian. Castiel heard it as well, his eyes opened while your lips still connected. Though you couldn’t understand what the voices said, you could feel what they were saying, in a way. You recognized your name; but that was all. You pulled back from Castiel as the voices quieted down. He was looking at something behind you when his blade, much like the one you’d been stabbed with descended from his sleeve.

“Castiel.” you heard a deep voice say. You spun around to see another angel standing a few feet away from you.

“Brother.” Castiel’s voice was low and threatening. You did what your instincts told you to do and you backed away slowly; not stopping until you were behind Cas. His free arm wrapped around the front of your body protectively.

You looked over at Castiel for a moment as you heard a prayer from him come in.

_Go, now._


	11. Chapter 11

**29 YEARS AGO**

_L,_

_I know you think that what we had was love. It was anything but. You were merely a distraction while I tried to clean up my father’s mess. What you have within you is not a child. It is simply an abomination. It is unholy and you should rid of it. The life of the being inside of you will never amount to anything. I will find you Lorraine. You will come back here eventually, and when you do, I will end both you and the nephilim._

_-you know who_

Lorraine folded the letter up and shoved it in her pocket. She pulled a few sheets of toilet paper off of the roll as she stood up, wading it up into a ball and drying her eyes. She stared at her reflection in the mirror as she tried gathering herself before she had to go. He had made it clear that he would no longer protect her.

He did love her. He was lying; and Lorraine knew it. He had never been so cold to her. She shouldn’t have gotten involved with an angel on a rampage. As a hunter, she knew better. A hunter could never be so irresponsible as to do half of the things that she did. But that was all over now. She had found out that she was pregnant. Gone were the days of waiting for the angel to travel through time from the 70s to come see her.

Lorraine snapped out of her haze and left the bathroom. Grabbing her bags, she looked around the room one last time before realizing she’d forgotten something. She made her way over to the safe in the small motel room and opened it up. She grabbed the two books that were inside and shoved them in her bag. They were the only two books like this in existence. The only two books with any and all information on angels.

Enochian translations, sigils, warding, along with lore on each archangel. Which she would use to her advantage to keep you safe. She would never forgive him. She would wait patiently, for years.

Lorraine knew about the power that you would one day possess. And years from now, when you were strong enough; well into your adult life, you would both find and kill Michael.

————–

“Y/N? What’s wrong? Where’s Cas?” Dean stood up from the old couch where he’d been sitting in the old abandoned house.

“An angel showed up-” You ran towards Dean. Sam sat up from his pallet of blankets on the floor and turned the lantern on- “W-we were on the beach and then Cas told me to go.”  
  
You clutched onto Dean’s shirt as you listened intently for anything from Castiel. But you heard nothing. You shouldn’t have left him there. You didn’t know anything about that other angel that showed up. You didn’t know how strong he was or anything.

“Can you get us there?” Dean asked.

“I think so.” Tears rolled down your cheeks as you took both Dean and Sam’s hands in yours. In a blink, you were back on the same beach that you and Cas were just moments ago.

The three of you looked all around, but there was no sign of Castiel or the other angel.

Your chest felt heavy as something inside of you twisted sharply. You gasped and brought your hand to your chest. Something was wrong. Something was way, way wrong.

Sam and Dean called for Cas but you knew that it would do no good. With another twist, you were falling to the ground, crying out in pain. You coughed as you tried to catch your breath. You’d never felt anything quite like this. Dean knelt down next to you, rubbing your back as he tried to help you up.

“Cas is being tortured” you stated.

“What?” Sam began, “how do you know?”

“His grace. I have some of it-” you coughed again, this time, some of your blood came up- “I can feel some of what he’s feeling.”

 _Cas, where are you?_ You prayed to him, but everything was silent. Dead silent.  _Dammit, please, answer me._

You let out a sob. Whoever had him was tormenting him both physically and mentally. These tears weren’t from your own fear. They were from Castiel’s.

“Y/N?!” Dean had to wrap his arms around you to keep you from falling to the ground.

“W-we ha-ave to f-find him.” you cried.

“Hello boys.” You heard a voice from behind you. The three of you turned around. What you saw was surely different than what Sam and Dean saw. This was a very powerful demon. You had to squeeze your eyes shut for a moment so that you didn’t have to see his demon face. When you opened them again, you were able to see him as a human.

“Crowley what the hell are you doing here?!” Dean commanded. Was this the Crowley he was on the phone with earlier?

“You hit the jackpot with this girl-” He took his hands out of his pockets and took a step towards you- “this here is Y/N Y/L/N, Daughter of Michael.”

Your eyes widened. How did he know your father? You didn’t even know your father.

“Michael. The archangel?” Sam questioned.

“Bingo.” Crowley smirked.

You doubled over as another sharp twisting pain shot through you. You screamed through the pain, wishing that you could just find Castiel. You had some of his grace, you thought for sure that you’d be able to find him.

“So, here’s how it’s going to work-” Crowley began, he grabbed his handkerchief and shook it before handing it to Dean, who proceeded to wipe the blood from your lips- “Y/N here is going to come with me.”

“No fucking way!” Dean shouted at him- “You told the angels about her.”

“I didn’t tell them  _about_ her. I told them she was with you two knuckleheads.”

You were not going with Crowley. You didn’t know him, and you didn’t want to know him. You closed your eyes, Castiel’s grace felt like it was scratching at you from the inside. Like it was trying to show you something. You let it take over you for a moment, you could tell that no one noticed. Sam and Dean were still arguing with Crowley.

Within seconds, you could see Castiel. You gasped at the sight of him. His hands were shackled above his head and his body dangled there, lifeless and bloodied. You recognized the enochian all around him, but that was it. There was no telling if he was even alive. But you thought you would surely know if he died.

“Y/N?” Sam asked while Dean held you up, still arguing away with Crowley. They bickered like an old married couple.

“I saw Cas.” Dean and Crowley grew silent. But Crowley, he looked like he knew something.

“You saw him?” Dean questioned.

“I-I have to go to him.”  
  
“No, you’re coming with me, princess.” Crowley tried to but in, but you were feeling better now. Nothing was currently happening to Cas, so you felt strong enough to stand up on your own completely.

“No, she’s-” Dean began, but when he looked around, the three of you were back in the old abandoned house. You’d left Crowley behind on the beach.

“Who is he?” you asked.

“He’s the king of hell.” Sam sighed.

You looked between the two of them. They’d told you just about everything they knew about heaven, and hell, angels, and demons. But they’d somehow neglected to tell you about Crowley; the king of hell. But you’d decided to leave it alone for now.

“Is my father alive?” your voice was nearly a whisper.

Dean looked over at you, Sam grabbed one of your mother’s books and sat down. Dean laced his arm around your waist and brought you into an embrace.

“He is,” he whispered into your ear- “he’s in hell, with Lucifer.”

You relaxed into Dean as you tried to process everything; but your body was quick to tense back up. Tears welled up in your eyes as you felt Castiel wake up. He was in enough pain to bring tears to his eyes. You didn’t like that. But you knew that you couldn’t go to him. That’s probably what the angels wanted.

You pulled back from Dean and looked him in the eye.

“Dean, I have to go.” you told him, tears now streaming down your cheeks.

Dean looked alarmed, and Sam had even looked up from the book. But this was the only way. There was only one person who could get to Cas, and you needed their help. Dean tried to lean in and kiss you, but you pulled away and shook your head; signaling that whatever had been happening between the two of you was over.

You offered Sam a small smile before you left. You were back on the beach in less than a second. You sat down on the sand where you’d sat with Castiel not that long ago. You watched the sky as the stars were just beginning to fade for the night. You didn’t wait long before you could feel his presence.

“Hello again, princess.”

You tensed up at the sound of his voice. You didn’t want to do this. But if anyone could get to Castiel, it was Crowley.


	12. Chapter 12

“I’ll give you what you want.” you began as you let the water wash up over your feet, “I’ll go with you, but you have to help me get Castiel back.”

“Works for me-” Crowley stepped forward, holding his hand out for you to take it- “I could use him anyway.”

You took Crowley’s hand and stood up. Your eyes were still watery from Castiel waking up. This was killing you. You needed to get him back. In the blink of an eye your surroundings changed from the serene setting of the beach, to a slightly less dingy motel than what you’d stayed at with Sam and Dean on your way to Kansas.

You moved away from Crowley and sat down on the bed. The whole ordeal with Cas was tiring, which was weird, because you felt stronger now than you ever had before.

“So what do we do?” you asked.

It didn’t take a genius to figure out that Crowley was full of himself. The way he carried himself around the room, the way he poured himself a drink, and the way he swirled his glass around like he tasted spirits for a living.

“I know where Castiel is-” he took a sip of his drink- “the good news  _is_..is that he’s not in heaven, and that the angels that have him don’t intend on killing him.”

“And the bad news?” you asked timidly.

“He’s hurt; badly, and I’m not quite sure on how you intend to fix him.”

You looked down at your feet. Trying to focus on something else. Anything else. Maybe you could give Cas his grace back. Maybe you’d healed enough to not need it anymore.

“Okay-” you said as you stood up- “let’s go get him.”

“Not so fast.”

“What? Why wait?” you scoffed.

“I need you to agree to a few things first, princess.” Crowley set his glass down.

“Let’s get to it.” you told him. You didn’t care what it was at this point, you just wanted to save Cas, and stop feeling this pain. You wanted him to stop being in pain, you needed it.

“I need you to come to hell with me,” he began, “some of my more powerful demons are stepping out of line, and I need you, to help put them back in their place.”

You tilted your head slightly as you took in his request.

“Why can’t you do that yourself,  _king of hell_?”

“There’s quite a lot of them, whenever the potential for a new ruler shows up, they stop listening.” He rolled his eyes while you stood up. The pain that Cas was feeling was starting to become slightly more tolerable. You weren’t sure if that meant the angels were giving him a break or if you were just getting used to it. Neither was good.

You closed your eyes and focused for a moment, just as you did a little while ago. You let Castiel’s grace guide you to him. He was still in the same spot that he was before. His wrists still shackled above his head. His eyes were open this time, and he looked over to where you could see him from. He noticed you, which was good.

 _Cas, can you hear me? I’m coming to get you._  You saw a glimmer of hope in his eyes when you’d said that. You hoped he’s say something back but there must’ve been something holding him back.

You relaxed a little as you watched over him for a moment. His halo still shined brightly, though his grace was slightly faded. Whatever he’d been tortured with had to be specifically designed for torturing angels.

Your heart skipped a beat as you came back to reality. You hadn’t been gone long, Crowley hardly noticed.

“Are  _you_ listening?” Crowley asked you.

“Yeah, anyway, fine. Sure-” you shrugged- “I’ll help you with your demons if you help me get Cas back.”

“Alright then. Let’s go.”

Crowley snapped his fingers and you were somewhere outside of what seemed to be an abandoned factory of some sort. It was early morning now, and the sun was just beginning to rise. You looked up at the building, listening and feeling for any sign of angels. There was none, but maybe there was some sort of warding on the building.

You were quiet as you followed Crowley inside. It was dark and creepy. Pipes were dripping and it smelled of mildew and…something rotting.

Crowley let you up the stairs to the second floor. Still no sign of anything angelic, not even Castiel. This wasn’t where he was. Crowley led you into one of the rooms and you stopped in the middle of it.

“Well what are you doing?” Crowley asked you.

“He’s not here.” you stated.

Crowley smirked, and with the snap of his fingers, you were surrounded by a ring of fire.

“Smart one, aren’t you?”

“What is this!?” you looked all around you and tried to step forward, but you couldn’t get near the flames without feeling excruciating pain.

“Ring of holy oil-” he began as he walked around you- “light it up, and anything angelic inside is trapped.”

“Why?” you asked, your hands balled up into fists as your blood began to boil over.

“Because I need you, _princess_ , to take over the world for me.”

“You can’t make me do anything, asshole!” you yelled.

“I can when I have the ability to throw you in Lucifer’s cage with him and Michael. It’d be quite the family reunion.”

You clenched your teeth. There had to be a way out of this. There just had to be. You opened your mouth to say something snarky back at the pathetic demon, but when you looked up; he was gone.

You screamed out of frustration. Crowley didn’t know where Cas was. He had no idea. And if he did, his intention was to keep you and him apart. You reached into your back pocket for your phone, but it was dead. You sat down in the center of the flaming ring to try and gather your thoughts.

Your patience was wearing thin. Not just because of the situation you were in, but because it just was. The more powerful you became, the angrier you felt. The only time you felt calm was with Castiel. But you figured that had something to do with his grace, because, what else would it be? You held your phone in your hand and focused your energy on the problem in front of you. You were angelic enough to be held captive by this holy oil. But you weren’t one hundred percent angel. You had a soul. You were part human.

But you didn’t know what to do with that. You let the pull of your grace guide you until your phone lit up. You looked at it when all missed calls and texts started coming in.

“Huh, I can charge a phone.” you shrugged.

You immediately searched for Dean’s number and called him. It only rang twice before he answered.

“Y/N? Are you alright?” He asked in a panicked voice. He must’ve known that you wouldn’t have called so soon unless something was wrong.

“Um, yeah. I’m just…trapped in a ring of holy fire?” you shook your head and put your hand over your chest as you felt Castiel being tortured again.

“Where are you?”

“I have no idea. Crowley brought me here.”

You heard Sam mumbling on the other side of the call as your head began to pound.

“Sam’s looking up the location of your phone.”

“Kay.” you grunted as the pain increased.

“What’s wrong?” Dean asked you.

“Cas…he’s being tortured again.” Speaking became harder and harder as your body began to go numb from the pain.

You heard Dean say something again but you couldn’t make out what he was saying. Probably because your phone was now on the ground as you clapped your hands to your ears. The familiar ringing of angelic speaking came into focus, this time much stronger than anything you’d ever felt. You heard Dean yelling into the phone before you began seizing.

You fell over as your body convulsed and everything went black.


	13. Chapter 13

“Y/N?” You heard Dean’s voice, but you couldn’t wake up. You felt tired, like you needed to rest.

“ _Dammit_ , sweetheart, please wake up.” Dean was carrying you, you could feel that you were in his arms.

“ _Dean!_ ” you heard Sam’s voice echo through the building before Dean set you down. You tried to wake up. You fought to wake up. There was demons here. You could smell them. They smelled of blood and rotting flesh. In your half conscious state you wondered if Sam and Dean could smell them too.

You groaned as you started to wake up. Slowly, you were able to blink a few times until everything had come into focus. You were still in the same building that Crowley had brought you to.

You slowly sat up and looked around, Sam and Dean had taken out the few demons that there were. You looked over to see Dean coming back at you and scooping you up into his arms.

“You okay?” the expression his face told you that he had been in panic mode since you’d passed out, whenever that was.

“W-where’s Cas?” you coughed out at Dean carried you outside, your strength was coming back quickly now, soon you’d leave again to go find the angel.

“We’ll find him, sweetheart.” he said as he helped you into the impala.

You felt nothing but anger as you came to a bit more. You’d never felt the urge to kill before, but right now you wanted nothing more than to kill Crowley. You wanted to watch him suffer and beg for his life. You were also angry with yourself. You should’ve known better. You shouldn’t have went to him in the first place.

You rested your head on the back of the seat as Dean drove away from the old factory. You saw a mile marker once Dean got on the highway, and you were able to figure out where you were.

“Indiana?” you questioned.

“Yep. We drove a long way to come get you.” Dean told you.

“Where were we before? I mean at that old house you guys were squatting in?”

“South Dakota,” Sam joined in, “okay, soY/N, I’ve been doing a lot of research in those books you had.”

You perked up a little bit. You wanted to hear what he had to say.

“And, I’m pretty sure that we can find Cas through you. Since you have some of his grace.”

“Okay, what do we need to do?” you started feeling more optimistic about finding Castiel. You just hoped that he was somewhere that you could get to him.

Sam started flipping through one of the books again as you started to feel a sharp pain in your abdomen. It was from Castiel again. They were still hurting him. You groaned as you laid down in the back seat and wrapping an arm around yourself while reaching above your head, to the door to crank the window down.

“Is it Cas again?” Dean asked while he looked at you in the rearview mirror.

You nodded while Sam focused on something he was reading in the book.

“Okay, Y/N so you should already know how to do this, according to this,” Sam started, “You should just be able to use his grace to focus.”

“I’ve tried that, I can see him, but not where he is.” You snapped unintentionally.

“Maybe you need practice, we have a good eleven hour drive back to South Dakota anyway.” You appreciated that Sam was so patient with you, even in this situation.

You sighed, he was right. When you’d done this before, you hadn’t really had much time to do it. There was something keeping you from just flying to his location. You assumed it was because of whoever had him took every precaution that they could to keep you out.

You rolled onto your back and closed your eyes. Once again, you let Castiel’s grace guide you to him. You felt a bit stronger this time as you felt the pull inside of you.

Within a few seconds, you were back in that same room, looking at Castiel. You gasped at the sight of him. He was bruised all over, his face hardly recognizable. His clothes were covered with blood and were torn where he’d been stabbed or cut. He looked so tired, his wrists were still shackled above his head. You felt tears well up in your eyes as you tried to let his grace guide you closer to him. You needed to know where he was.

A few moments later, you figured out how to navigate around, and take in more details of the room. Just as you were about to move into the hallway, the angel that had met you both on the beach appeared in the room. You stayed in the corner, watching, unable to move. You were worried that he might somehow see you.

“Castiel,” he began, “this can all be over. You can go free, just tell me, where she is.”

He flicked his wrist and what seemed to be a whip appeared in his hand. You looked at Cas, you wanted him to say where you were. Though he didn’t know at this point, you just wanted his pain to end.

“Told..you-” the tears finally spilled over when you heard his voice. It was hoarse and…not him. He looked up with all of the strength that he had, that’s when you noticed tears in his own eyes- “d-don’t know.”

The angel –whose name you still didn’t know– raised his arm that was holding the whip above his head. It came down hard and fast on Castiel’s chest. Casl was so weak that he couldn’t do anything more than grunt. You however, felt the hit. You screamed in pain. That was no ordinary whip.

You pulled yourself together before you had the chance to witness anymore. You quickly made your way out of the room and into the hallway, looking for something, anything that would tell you where Cas was. Finally, in this hallway that seemed to go on forever, you found a map on the wall. You stopped to look at it, noticing the town that was circled. You immediately retracted yourself from the situation to tell Sam and Dean.

When you opened your eyes, Sam and Dean were both staring at you from the open impala door, on the side where your head had been resting.

“Peoria,” you stated, “Peoria Illinois.”

Sam and Dean looked at each other before looking back down at you.

  
“What is it?” you flinched as you sat up, the sting from Cas’ pain still lingering. Dean placed a hand on the small of your back to help you up.

“First, what happened? I had to pull over because you were screaming.” Dean was really worried about you; and you wished more than anything that he wasn’t.

“I just, still feel his pain.” you sat up the rest of the way and looked them.

“Peoria, it’s close to where Cas’ vessel is from.” Sam told you.

“You know his vessel?” you asked.

“We did, he died years ago.” Dean added.

You nodded and gave them a minute to get back into the car. Dean was quick to get going again.

“Peoria it is.” Dean said as he gripped the steering wheel.

“Who was he?” you inquired.

“His vessel? Jimmy Novak, from Pontiac Illinois.”

“So he was alive when Cas came around?”

“He prayed for it from what we’ve heard.” Sam added.

You thought about it for a moment. It had never really dawned on you that Cas’ vessel used to be someone.

“Did he have a family?”

“He had a wife and a daughter-” Dean glanced back at you as he drove- “His wife died a few years ago, and we run into his daughter every once in awhile.”

You looked out the window as you thought of any other questions you might have. You didn’t for right now, you could only think of the sacrifice that had to be for Jimmy to make. You also tried to think of where exactly that building was that Cas was in.

“I think Cas is in an old abandoned hospital or something.”

“We’ll figure it out. You might be able to get a better idea once we get closer.” Sam suggested.

You went back to your thoughts as Dean continued on down the highway. Peoria was only about a four hour drive from where you were. You already had a plan, and you weren’t going to tell Sam and Dean about it. Now that you were feeling back to normal, you planned on waiting until the three of you were around thirty minutes from Peoria. Then, you’d fly the rest of the way. It would make finding Castiel quicker. You needed to get to him. You’d been holding back tears since you’d been back on the road. Your heart ached and your soul still called out for him.

You would die to save him if you had to.


	14. Chapter 14

You laid down in the back seat before vanishing to find Castiel.

You didn’t know much about Peoria. You honestly didn’t know anything about it at all. But the closer you had gotten to Peoria, the more you could feel Castiel’s presence. He was here. You were sure of it.

When you left the impala, you appeared on a quiet street, it was early evening, and the sun was beginning to set. The street lights were just beginning to turn on. You closed your eyes and once again, like you had done before, you let Cas’ grace guide you. Your soul cried out to him even louder now that you were so close. You knew that he would sense your presence.

You moved quietly and quickly until you found yourself in an abandoned hospital, where you’d suspected he was. Whoever was torturing Cas hadn’t hurt him in awhile, which you were more than grateful for.

You walked every floor of the building, silently, until you found the one hallway that looked familiar. You drew the angel blade that you’d pulled from the impala and crept slowly down the hallway. The only thing you could focus on was getting Castiel out there, unharmed and alive.

Finally, you came up the room he was in.

“Cas!” you whispered as entered the room. He was still shackled, and alive, but still in horrible condition.

He looked up at you with relief in his eyes, with worry. He looked so beaten down and broken that it made your blood boil. You walked over to him, your heart aching as you examined his wrists where he was shackled. He flinched no matter where you touched him. Whoever did this would die, and you would make sure of it.

“I’m so sorry..” you trailed off as tears welled up in your eyes.

“Don’t be..”

You reached up and wrapped both hands around the two chains that held him there. You took a deep breath, focusing for a moment before you snapped each of them. You wrapped your arms around Castiel the moment he was free from the chains and slowly sank down to the ground with him. Just as you opened your mouth to speak, you heard the fluttering of wings behind you.

“Nephilim.” it was the voice of the angel that had found you and Cas on the beach in the first place.

You put your hand on your angel blade, slowly lying Cas down and standing up to face this angel.

“You won’t hurt me.” you stated.

“I won’t?” the angel laughed, “My orders are to kill you.”

You shifted your weight as you stood in a fighting stance, ready for him to attack you when something in your head clicked.

“Do you know who my father is?” you asked him.

Oddly enough, the angel took a step back and cocked his head. He didn’t know. You looked him up and down, taking in his body language before making eye contact with him and smiling.

“I just learned recently myself-” you shrugged, stepping forward. You didn’t know where this side of you was coming from. You used your most threatening attitude, and this angel that had taken your Castiel seemed a bit on edge- “See, my father is Michael, the archangel.”

His eyes widened, signaling that he’d had no idea who your father was. Before he had the chance to make a move, you raised your angel blade and put it right through his chest.

You smiled as he died. Though you thought that maybe you should’ve made him suffer a bit more. You took your phone out of your pocket as you ran over to Cas, you brought the two of you back to the bunker as you dialed Sam’s number.

“Sam, I have Cas, meet us at the bunker.”

“Y/N, what- are you okay?” He started, but you didn’t have time for a million questions right now.

“Just meet us at the bunker.” you repeated as you hung up.

You’d appeared in a bedroom, your angel hardly able to move.

“Are you alright?” you asked him softly, sitting on the bed next to him. You weren’t going to leave his side again.

He nodded as you started undoing his shirt and tie, what was left of them anyway, so that you could get a better look of what was going on. Slowly removing the shreds of his clothes, you began to cringe at the sight of each wound.

“Okay,” you began as you peeled what you could off of him, “So, I’m not sure of how to do this, healing thing.”

You held your hands over his torso, afraid to touch him, afraid of hurting him. Castiel reached up and grabbed one of your hands, pulling you down with what little strength he had, until your lips were brushing against his. You brought your hand up to the side of his face as you closed the small distance between the two of you, kissing him deeply.

There was no way to describe what happened between you and Castiel when you made physical contact with each other. You felt every ounce of your grace and your soul interact with his grace. You knew at this point, that you were at full power. You knew that you had reached your full potential. It was scary, because you no longer felt like yourself. It was invigorating, because you felt whole. You felt like you could do anything; and you could.

When you broke contact with Castiel, you looked down at him to see that he’d healed completely.

You weren’t sure how much longer Sam and Dean had to drive before they got back to the bunker, but you knew it’d still be a few hours.

Castiel sat up before practically jumping on you. He wrapped his arms around you, and you wrapped your arms around him.

“Don’t ever go missing like that again.” you warned him through a sob you didn’t know you’d been holding back.

“I won’t.” he promised, hugging you tighter. You buried your face in the crook of his neck, letting the heat coming from his half naked body soothe you.

“So what happens next?” You asked, making sure keep your tight hold on him.

Castiel sighed, you knew that he would have thought something up while in those chains.

“I think we need to talk to your father.”


	15. Chapter 15

You looked up at Cas, wondering how in the hell that was possible. From what you’d heard, your father, Michael, was locked up - with the devil nonetheless. You opened your mouth to respond before someone interrupted you.

“I don’t think that will be necessary.”

The look on Castiel’s face was one of complete shock as he laced his fingers with yours before you turned around and cocked your head.

“And you are?” you asked as you tensed up, ready to fight again if you had to.

The man that stood at the foot of the bed was average height, he had a scruffy beard and curly hair. Almost like personal grooming was one of his least favorite things to do. Though he was handsome. It wasn’t until he crossed his arms in front of him that he spoke again.

“God. But you can call me Chuck.”

Your jaw dropped. You looked back at Castiel. If you were watching your life from an outside perspective, you would lose yourself to laughter right now. Less than twenty-four hours ago you’d been trapped in a ring of holy fire by a demon named Crowley - who quite honestly was not near as powerful as he thought he was; and here you were, casually sitting on a bed with an angel, looking back up at a man who just introduced himself as God with the nickname Chuck.

“So..would you be my Father? Or my Grandfather?” You couldn’t help but ask. But after you spoke you felt…odd.

Chuck took a deep breath and looked at you like you were his angsty teenage daughter.

“Y/N, I’m here to help,” he started, “so seriously, just call me Chuck…okay?”

You suddenly felt awkward and looked away, you still couldn’t exactly tell what your emotions were really doing to you. You didn’t care at all and then you cared too much. It was overwhelming.

“First things first,” Chuck pointed at the both of you, and you were surprised that Cas had yet to say anything, but you did feel some strange energies coming off of him- “Castiel has already unintentionally started the process of bonding the two of you together. You need to finish it.”

“B-bonding?” Castiel finally spoke up.

“Whenever Y/N was stabbed, and you gave her some of your grace,” Chuck trailed off for a moment, searching for the right words- “You essentially began a mating-like process.”

“Like animals?” you butted in. What the hell did he mean by  _mating_?

“No, no, I’m just comparing it to that.”

“Okay..?” You responded, still confused. Cas remained silent.

“So, you can give Castiel some of your soul, and the process would then be complete.” Chuck finished.

You looked back at Cas, he was deep in thought, and he was doing everything that he could to keep you out of his mind.

“How do I do that?” you asked, your eyes still glued to Cas’ as you waited for Chuck to answer you.

“I’ll give you two some alone time-” he suggested as you turned back around- “when you’re done, pray to me, and we’ll go from there. You’ll know when it’s done.”

And with that, he was gone. There was no sound of wings fluttering, there was no light, he was just gone. How was ‘bonding’ with Cas supposed to fix things? You were left with what appeared to be a very displeased angel, who was still half naked and sitting right in front of you. At some point his hand had left yours.

“So I’m guessing that we have to-” you started, but were interrupted but Cas.

“No.” He snapped, which felt like a knife to the chest. You didn’t understand. Cas was _just_ kissing you like his life depended on it. You knew that he had to feel what was happening between the two of you. There was no denying it. Was it just Chuck? Surely it couldn’t have been you.

“Cas-” you said, looking into his eyes as you waited for an answer.

“It was never supposed to be this way.” Castiel’s voice was cold, much different than the tone of voice he usually used with you.

“What wasn’t supposed to be this way?” You felt your eyes sting slightly as he scooted away from you and rolled his shoulders, his wings spreading out from behind him. They still took your breath away. Even in a moment like this.

“None of it. None of this was God’s- Chucks, plan.”

“Cas-” you reached out and placed a hand on his arm- “Of course this was his plan. Can’t you see that?”

You weren’t entirely sure what you were saying. This was all so new to you; and you were still trying to figure out how you were so calm about meeting God himself less than five minutes ago. You were also trying to figure out how you were so calm after Chuck essentially told you to have sex and then vanished.

You stood up and walked over to the dresser as Castiel sat on the bed. You started going through the drawers and looking for clothes when you remembered that your clothes were still in your bag. You were doing anything you could to get your mind off this whole thing. But you couldn’t. You vanished for a moment and reappeared in the bedroom with the bag in hand. Setting it down on the floor, you unzipped it and went through it, looking for clean clothes until you heard Cas snap his fingers.

You looked up at him, and he motioned his head in your direction. You looked down and noticed he’s replaced your bloodied clothes with clean ones.

“You don’t have to do that anymore.” He said.

“I guess it’s gonna take some getting used to.” You responded.

You stood and walked back over to him, and sat down where you were before, only slightly closer this time.

“We should finish that bonding process.” you said quietly.

Castiel’s eyes stayed glued on you, but he didn’t say a word, and he wasn’t making eye contact with you.

“Say something..” you begged. No matter what you and Cas decided to do, you knew it needed to be done before Sam and Dean got back. You had no idea what completing this process would do, and you certainly didn’t want Dean to know about it. Especially with how he still felt about you.

“I-” Cas trailed off, unsure of how to word it.

“You’re having doubts.” Your heart broke when you realized it. It was like someone dropped a cinder block on your chest, although you realized that probably would be less painful now that your powers were at full capacity.

This was the only moment you knew that you had to get rid of any doubts he had. This was the only moment you had to tell him.

“I love you, Castiel-” you began as you took a deep breath, preparing to pour your heart out to the angel- “And I know it’s crazy, I know it’s probably impossible. But I love you-” Cas made eye contact with you, finally. His blue eyes boring into you- “I love you so much in fact, that I would die to protect you. Even if I’m not even supposed to exist. Even if I’m a failure and a fuck up by nature. But for whatever reason, I’m here, and I love you; and we need to finish this.”

You and Castiel both just looked into each other’s eyes, unsure of what to say at this point. You weren’t surprised when a tear fell from your eye; but you were surprised that Castiel immediately brought his hand up to your face and wiped it away.

“I love you too-” Cas began, and you smiled- “But I’m not sure if I can do this.”

Your smile faded just as quickly as it had appeared, and without another word from either of you, in a split second - Cas was gone.


	16. Chapter 16

Red. Bright, burning red was the only color you could see as you waited for Sam and Dean to return to the bunker. Chuck wouldn’t answer your prayers. Castiel wouldn’t answer your prayers -no matter what you said to him. You couldn’t go looking for him either, because you were waiting on the boys. Who not to mention, both had dead phones; and you couldn’t go out looking for them either, they had some sort of warding on them that made them impossible to find.

You sat at the head of the table in the library, looking to your right. Your eyes scanned the books on the bookshelf. You knew none of them were useful, the only useful books there was, were your mother’s books, which were with Sam and Dean.

You felt your blood boil, and you were hardly able to stay seated as you waited. So you started trying to relieve some of the tension. You were never one to anger easily. But now that you were full of this new, oddly dark celestial power, you couldn’t help it. Tears began to stream down your cheeks as you took the book you were looking at. A red one, about vampires; and flung it across the room with your grace.

Your nails dug into the table and you tried to keep from screaming as you ripped more and more books from their spots, knocking the lamp off of the table, and leaving dents on the walls from the force. Once the books had all been ripped from their homes, you flipped the table with one swift kick.

Every light fixture and every piece of furniture in the library was broken just moments later, and as you stood back and looked at the ruckus, you finally let out that scream of frustration and heartbreak you had been holding back.

The bunker door finally opened and Sam and Dean walked in to find you standing in the doorway of the library, right off of the war room. There was a projection of your wings behind you as the lights in the bunker flickered, and when the boys descended the steps they held their hands over their eyes as if they couldn’t see.

“Y/N!” You heard Sam shout, “what’s going on?!”

You immediately stopped the projection of your wings and looked at the boys, with glassy eyes.

The moment it was quiet in the room, you spoke up - or rather, yelled, “What the  _hell_  is up with Cas?”

“What do you mean?” Dean asked you as the boys both began to step forward.

You let out a huff of frustration, throwing Sam and Dean back to the staircase with nothing more than a look. They both fell to the ground and you looked away before leaning against the doorway and sliding down to the floor. There was no way that they were going to let you stay here after tearing the place apart and tossing them back like they were a couple of chew toys.

You brought your knees to your chest and buried your face in your hands, letting the tears fall as you wondered how the hell you got here. Why you? You didn’t ask for this. You didn’t want this. If you could give up your grace, you could. But it was a part of you; and if you gave it up, you would most likely die.

You felt a gentle touch on your shoulder, and you looked up to see Sam.

“Y/N, please talk to us.”

You sighed, “Well, I saved Cas.” Your voice cracked when you said his name.

“I fixed him,” you continued, “Then Chuck shows up-” you let out a sarcastic laugh and shook your head- “Fucking God.”

“Pretty sure you’re not supposed to say his name in vain.” Dean butted in as he walked towards the doorway where you and Sam sat.

You looked at him and knocked him off balance for that one.

“W-wait, Chuck showed up? Here?” Sam asked, almost as if he couldn’t believe it.

“Yep,” you began, “Then he told me that to fix this mess, Cas and I needed to finish this bonding process or whatever-” you glanced at Dean before looking back at Sam- “He basically told us to fuck before he vanished.”

Sam snorted, and you were pretty sure he would’ve choked on his drink if he had one. Dean had nearly the same reaction, only he spoke up- “God told you and Cas to have sex!?”

“Ugh, Dean, please.” you said, refraining from knocking him to the ground again. You noticed the pain on Dean’s face through this conversation. He still had feelings for you.

“Okay Y/N, tell me more about this..bonding thing.” Sam spoke up again to try to distract you.

Sam finally just sat down right next to you and put his arm around your shoulders. He would be lying if he said he wasn’t a little freaked out by you right now. But who wouldn’t be? You tore the place up and you were in ‘full on angel mode’ whenever they walked in. You relaxed into Sam while Dean sat down against the other side of the door frame. Even though Dean was hurting over you, you were thankful for both of them. Because, what would’ve happened to you if they’d never saved you from that demon back in Illinois?

You looked up at Dean, not really wanting to talk about it in front of him.

“I uh-” Dean started, standing back up- “I’ll go get some food.”

You watched for a moment as Dean left before looking at Sam.

“I love him, Sam.” you said.

“Who, Dean?”

You shook your head, slowly- “Cas.”

Sam wrapped his other arm around you for a moment, he could see just how you upset you were about all of this. He took a deep breath as he thought about everything. The demons and angels that were after you, Crowley, who was God knows were…not to mention God himself was now involved.

“So tell me about this bonding process?” he pressed.

“Yeah, I guess whenever that angel stabbed me, and whenever Cas healed me by giving me some of his grace, it started the process..but Chuck didn’t bother explaining it.” You took a deep breath as you thought about how fucked up this all was.

“Did he say anything else?”

You shook your head slowly as you spoke- “All he said was that I could give him some of my soul to complete it.”

“So then…what happened?” Sam asked, worried that asking you about Cas could anger you all over again.

“Basically,” you began, “I think Cas got cold feet. I told him I loved him and then he just… left. I mean he did tell me he loved me too but…still.”

Sam just looked at you, you could tell that he felt helpless, “And now Chuck isn’t answering your prayers?”

“Nope. Neither is Cas-” you felt tears well up in your eyes again- “and I can’t hear Cas. He’s not talking to me.”

“Did you try looking for him?” Sam asked.

You shook your head- “No, I didn’t want you guys to come back to us not being here…what if he doesn’t really want this, Sam? I’m already connected to him in a way that you couldn’t even begin to understand. If he really doesn’t want this…it will kill me.”

Sam sighed, and thought about what he was going to say for a moment before speaking up, “You said that he told you he loves you?”

“Yeah.”

“Then he wants this.”

“How can you be so sure?”

Sam smiled slightly as he started to stand up, and held out his hand to help you up- “Cas doesn’t just tell anyone that he loves them.”

You looked up at Sam, but this time as you stood there, you saw more than just the look on his face, you could see his soul. It was damaged, but genuine. Had the average person’s soul been that damaged…you just didn’t know how anyone could do it.

“Y/N, where would Cas be right now?” Sam asked you.

You thought about it. How the hell were you supposed to know? Cas obviously didn’t want to be found. But then it clicked. Everything from the last few days sunk in, and you remembered. You made eye contact with Sam before a smile broke out on your face.

“The beach…he’s at the beach.”


	17. Chapter 17

“What took you so long?” Castiel asked as he sat there, his feet in the water and his shirt still missing. He’d been letting some of the wet sand run through his fingers as he looked out at the ocean.

It was the middle of the night now. You’d rescued him hours ago and you’d wasted all of that time waiting for the Winchesters. You were still filled with rage from earlier as he sat there.

“Are you kidding me?” you snapped, “Why’d you even leave?!”

“The bunker’s not safe.” he said without turning to look at you.

“And this beach is?”

“It’s slightly safer-” he finally turned his head to the side so that he was at least talking in your general direction- “the only person still alive that knows about it is Crowley; and no one knows where he is.”

“Hopefully he’s dead.” you added as you walked over and sat down next to him- 

“Are you allergic to clothes now or something?”

Castiel looked down at himself and shrugged before you looked out at the water. It was quiet, even with the sound of waves crashing in the distance. You let out a quiet sob as your rage faded away, and suddenly you were just hurt. Your heart ached, you thought that Castiel didn’t want you. You crossed your legs and leaned forward, resting your elbows on your legs and burying your face in your hands.

A moment later, you felt Castiel scoot closer to you. You felt his arms wrap around your waist from behind; and without a second thought, you melted into him. He rested his head on your shoulder and you both sat there for a minute, just as you did the previous night - before that angel that took Cas showed up. His body was warm against yours, and for now, all of your worries faded away.

Your eyes fluttered shut and your stomach churned as Castiel turned his head to leave kisses along your neck and up your cheek. He didn’t stop until you finally turned your head and kissed him. It felt like it had been forever since the last time your lips connected with his.

His grace buzzed against your skin, and it was still just as invigorating as it was the very first time. His lips on yours make you feel like you’re on top of the world, and he feels it too. When Castiel kisses you, you feel like you can just forget everything. You can forget that you’re not supposed to exist, you can forget that every angel and demon that’s out there is after you. It’s just you and Cas.

You pulled away from Cas for a moment and looked at him before a smile grew on your face.

“What?” he asked.

You stayed silent as you glanced behind you at the small cabin that looked like it had been long abandoned. You placed your hand on Castiel’s arm and suddenly you were inside of the cabin, sitting on a bed in the same position you were both sitting in less than a second ago on the beach.

You took in your surroundings for a moment, there was one small window in the cabin that the moonlight shined through perfectly.

Cas nuzzled into your neck and placed an open mouth kiss over your pulse point- “Well you sure have learned how to use those beautiful wings of yours..”

Your heart fluttered. You’d never been complimented on your wings before. Of course, Castiel is the only one that’s seen them in the short amount of time that you’d known how to use them. You let out a small moan when you felt Cas massage the spot on your back where your wings were. A moment later, you laid back on the bed.

Castiel laid over you, his hand caressing your face as he looked down at your body. Before you had the chance to say anything, you felt the cool air hit your torso and your breasts. You sighed as Cas’ hand moved from your cheek - goosebumps formed on your skin as he traced the upper half of your body with the back of his knuckles. His thumb brushed one of your nipples as you held eye contact with him.

You reached up and threaded your hand into his hair- “I love you, Castiel.”

“I love you too.” Cas whispered as he leaned down and pressed his lips into yours. You spread your legs for him and you felt his erection press against your clothed sex, igniting something inside of you. Castiel felt it too as he deepened the kiss, rolling his tongue against yours. You moaned, needing more of him.

You gripped onto his hair just as you felt a familiar tingling sensation wash over you. You were certain that you would never get used to the feeling of Castiel using his grace on you.

His grace danced along your skin, tracing every intimate part of your body. Starting with your neck, working its way down your chest, massaging your breasts and lightly pinching your nipples as you felt more of his grace part your throbbing folds and dip into your sex. Waves of pleasure coursed through you and within seconds you felt like you were going to come undone; whimpering and writhing as Cas let his grace work on your body.

Castiel kissed you some more, and his hand moved down just as his grace pulled back. He then dipped a finger into your now exposed entrance. The rest of your clothes, along with his had been removed. You wondered how long the rest of your clothes had been off as you felt Castiel’s hard cock rest against your thigh.

_You did it, not me, Y/N._

You smiled, you were impressed with yourself. You didn’t even think about removing his clothes, or yours, yet, it just happened. Right now, you were the on edge of an orgasm, and you just wanted to take whatever Cas would give you.

But you wanted to try something.

Castiel’s lips parted from yours as you used your grace to trace down his body as he laid over you, circling your clit gently. You gave Castiel the sensation of having his cock stroked slowly, teasingly almost. He groaned as you manipulated your grace and gave him the feeling of his cock being licked and sucked.

Before he had the chance to do anything else, you rolled the two of you over, so that Castiel was now on his back as you straddled him. You used your grace to pull his hands from your body and pin them up above his head. You looked down at him as you rolled your hips, rubbing your soaking, aching sex along his cock, eliciting a moan from the both of you.

But once you put your hands on Castiel’s chest to balance yourself and sink down onto him, something inside of you changed. It was an experience like no other as his cock stretched filled you to the brim. You’d never felt this way before, like you were on edge of an orgasm for this long.

But once you were fully seated on his cock you became aware that he felt the same way. He moaned loudly and his head fell back before you freed his arms. You fell forward, your chest now flush against his as he wrapped his arms around you and held you close.

Making eye contact with him was what made it click. The bond. You knew how to finish it now. Castiel’s hands slid down to your ass and helped guide you up, his cock pulling out of you briefly before you sank back down onto him. The amount of pleasure you both felt was almost overwhelming.

You pressed your lips to his, and seconds later you felt the warmness of your soul reaching out for Castiel. His grace met your soul almost instantly as you swiveled your hips with his cock buried inside of you. Your lower belly tightened again for what felt like the millionth time, and just as you felt as if you were going to explode, your wings expanded behind you, Castiel’s doing the same as he laid there beneath you.

You were able to open your eyes for only a moment before the pleasure took over you again, but you noticed that Castiel’s wings had changed ever so slightly. They were larger. Almost as large as yours now. They were still charcoal colored with hues of blue, but there was also now hues of violet and gold, and they shimmered slightly.

The intensity of everything finally caught up with the both of you as you rode Castiel like your life depended on it. You supported yourself by leaning back and resting your hands on his thighs as he thrusted up into you, and minutes later you were both coming undone.

You felt hot, you felt powerful, and  finally - you felt complete as the light of your soul and the electricity of Castiel’s grace seeped out into the room and collided once more. Your head fell back and you opened your eyes as your orgasm continued to rip through you to see the image of your true form bonding with Cas’ true form. You looked down at Cas to see him looking up at it as well.

You were both shaking uncontrollably and your heart was pounding as a state of total euphoria took over.

When you both came down from your highs, you fell forward onto him, and he wrapped his arms around you. Sweat covered your bodies as you caught your breath - and Castiel caught his.

Which was weird. Because Castiel didn’t need to breathe. You looked up at him, brushing the hair out of your face as you did so, and as you made eye contact with him you understood.

“Cas..I think we did it.”


End file.
